Three’s Company: Becoming Attachment Experts

As I am writing this blog, Jeremiah is sitting next to me, reading his student’s evaluations of his teaching abilities after his last official day of student teaching. My favorite comments thus far: “I think Costello’s really cool, and I hope he gets his job”.  “He’s funny, and he knows how to be strict”. “He could give us more free time”.”Mr Costello can improve on spelling”. “He’s patient and kind”.  “You put up with a lot of crap, if something isn’t ok, put your foot down”. And my favorite: “I love Mr Costello”.  🙂

We had PS-MAPP week 4 this week and let me tell you, it was H-E-A-V-Y.  It started off light, talking about the ways in which foster parents, children, and birth parents all have to attach to each other in order to be the best support system that they can be for each other and ultimately, the children involved.  Jeremiah, myself, and another girl were casted in a demonstration to show how if, as a foster parent, you cut the ties between birth parent and child, you ultimately lose the entire circle of relationships.

After a break and delicious BBQ chicken sandwiches, we were back for an imagery activity. Through visualization, we were put into the shoes of a child who is taken out of their home by DHS or ‘people movers’.  As the child in the visualization, we didn’t know who was taking us, where we were going, why we were leaving, and who all these smiling faces were at our ‘new home’.  It was very powerful to put oneself in that position. It really made us realize and appreciate what the children go through when they are removed from their homes. It is definitely a loss. 

Towards the end of the class we were numbered off and put into groups to look at cases of children and talk about their losses and how we as foster/adoptive parents could best attach to them, given their current and past situations. We also talked about talking to young children about their adoptive background and how to approach it when others ask you about having a foster child in your home.

On a lighter note, tomorrow is Lucy’s 2nd birthday! She is very aware of the excitement and will answer with an excited ‘2!’ if you ask how old she will be.  She is pumped about her birthday party. We (myself and 2 beloved helpers) made her checkerboard birthday cake yesterday and I think she had more fun sneaking batter out of the bowls and mixing the colors of batter together. We will see how well the checkerboard pattern turns out……  She is really coming into her own and being a little girl. Tonight I endured 20 mins of beauty parlor play….read: L trying to yank on  comb my hair, put on blush and lipstick, and blow dry my hair. I’m not sure cosmetology is her future.  Maybe something in the medical field… 😉

Gabriel’s vocabulary and speech continue to improve daily.  He is quite the talker; some days I’m not sure he ever takes a breath to stop talking. I heard the word ‘Mom’ more times in a day than I can count. We are having a lot more conversations and questions instead of just back and forth mish mash.  My day off yesterday sounded something like this from my ears: “Mom….mom…mo-wake up! The sun is up. Come downstairs. Mom it’s not too early! Mom I want cereal and yogurt, and can you turn the tv? I don’t know what kind of movie to watch. Mom I want to go outside. I play in sandbox. Mom its cold outside, I need hat and gloves. Will you come out and play with me? Where are neighbors? Why don’t they play with me? Why do they have school? Is it ‘eat time’? I’m hungry! Mom come outsiiiide! Mom what will you be when you grow up? What will Lucy be? I will be Bat-guy. Mom can we go to library? Mom who will you marry? Yuck! I marry noone.  Mom can I go outside? Mom I don’t take a nap. Mom if I eat all my food I will grow big like Bat-guy. Mom do I go to nana-papa’s when I wake up? Mom I go play on the porch. Mom can I play the piano? Mom can I have a drink of your juice? Mom what’s going on here? Mom, for my happy birthday I want bat-guy mask, suit……Mom for my happy birthday can we go to waterpark? Wait! Mom! Let’s go on rides then go to waterpark for my happy birthday.  Mom, I turn 4 on my happy birthday, and Lu-lu is 2. Mom let’s plant the flowers! Mom I love you…..”

Whew! Not sure I have answers for all of those, but will try.  I love his exuberance for life and inquisitiveness. 

Have a great night!

-The Costello’s

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