A few thoughts on having 4 children

 

 

  1. I’ve adopted a ‘mom code’ for dressing. Things that are allowed: high vnecks, crew necks, skirts lower than lower thigh, shorts that I can bend or squat in without looking scandalous, jeans that are built for people with child-bearing hips. Camisoles must be worn under anything and everything, tucked in, because it’s safe. It is not safe to wear things such as strapless maxi dresses (ask me how I know) or a heel over about 1 inch.  Spaghetti straps themselves are hit or miss, so I try to avoid. I will never again wear a mini skirt and most likely never a bikini again, which I’m completely ok with….I’ve discovered there is no such thing as a flattering nursing-friendly dress. It’s a unicorn – beautiful, stunning, and lovely, but does not exist. I can’t wear my hair down, it’s always in a pony tail, messy bun, or some version of a braid. My hair gets caught, yanked, or chewed on otherwise and sometimes no matter what.  If I try to wear white, it usually lasts about 3 hrs. Dangly earrings are a HUGE no-no.  Wear a necklace if you want to be strangled courtesy of Ruth.
  2.  I’m hoping this is just me, but I feel like the main floor of our house always smells of POOP. My kids are notorious for not flushing, because they want to SHOW everyone. Sometimes we don’t discover it for awhile. Gross. Ruth has the smelliest diapers. I take the trash out all. the. time. The living room is adjacent to the busiest bathroom in the house. Tell me I’m not alone on this one.   
  3. My kids are never full. I can feed them the healthiest food on the planet with unlimited protein, and G still has hollow legs. “Mom, what can I eat?” is always ringing. We ate an entire watermelon yesterday for an appetizer. The. whole. thing. G has consumed an entire pint of blueberries in one sitting, although that didn’t end well. (See above second point) We’re going through 4 bunches of bananas and 4 dozen eggs a week! I hide M&Ms and dark chocolate covered blueberries behind the vitamins. NO SHAME.
  4. People constantly assume one or more of the following: a) we are crazy b) we’re borrowing someone else’s kids c) we are terrible at family planning (or just the opposite) d) we are done e) WE ARE CRAZY!
  5. Many days I count the following as ‘The Mom Workout’ and commend myself for getting it done. I tote around 18 lb baby for approximately 12 hrs with constant isometric contraction of my left arm, squat 150 times to tie shoes/retrieve lost pacifier/wipe up spill, lift/bend/reach to buckle/unbuckle carseats 6 rounds x 2 kids each time, push the swings for 18 and 30lb kids for 30 minutes, carry hampers on one hip while baby is on the other, load the dishwasher (twice), walk up and down and up and down the stairs at least 40 times, walk to and from various parks, kid activities, appointments, shops…….I could go on, but I’m tired. Repeat.
  6. I’ve decided that the people who invented carseats do not actually have children, let alone 4 kids in carseats simultaneously. Carseats are a beast! 2 of our kids are completely independent in buckling, but the other 2 require assistance, of course.   Why is there not such a thing as the self-buckling carseat? How about a car that self-installs a carseat? Or better yet, a car that self-cleans a carseat? Do you know how much stuff disappears into the never-to-be-seen again world beneath a carseat? Have you ever tried to disassemble a carseat covered in puke? How about install  or even just use a carseat while pregnant? Ever had to pay for one? Hundy dolla bills…..$$$$ And it’ll either expire or they’ll outgrow it within no more than 7 years, if you’re lucky. I’ve got 4 kids. We currently own 10 carseats and Nana and Papa own 4 more. We need STOCK in Graco. Ugh. Carseats are my nemesis.
  7. There is nothing in the world catered to a 6+ person family. Take cars for example. Trying to fit 6 people into a 8-seater SUV with 4 carseats, diaper bag, chairs, sports equipment, backpacks, extra clothes, yard quilt, baby carrier, tiny stroller and there’s NOT ENOUGH ROOM. And that’s before Lucy insists on bringing the ART ROOM and G his entire collection of Legos and Amelia her bag ‘o who-knows-what. We’re heading toward the 12 passenger van, no lie. I seriously envy the people I see that drive them because they have space. No shame here once again. Having 4 kids makes you re-evaluate your priorities and pride, and if we’re all going to have to sit happily in a vehicle for several hours at times, we need some room!

With all that being said, I would not trade my life for anything.  Kids are so great and really do make life worth living! Ours are especially full of life, spunk, character and personality. They are amazing and we love them dearly, each and every one! Large family life is fun, messy, busy, and FULL, but not for the faint of heart! 😉

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